Dad’s Legendary Road Rage

By Jeremy Patton

My father had legendary road rage, but he’s calmed down a lot now that he’s a senior citizen. He rarely curses anymore and his outbursts are few and far between.

I sometimes wonder if his road rage was innate or developed by his former career as a truck driver. I suspect that it was a combination of both.

When I was a kid, perhaps 10 years old, I was riding with Dad somewhere in London, Kentucky. He was trying to pull out onto the highway, but traffic was heavy. Several traffic lights resided nearby, so every time an opportunity arose to pull out, a light released a wave of vehicles that blocked our way.

We sat idle for an unusually long time, then Dad started fuming.

Another wave zoomed by.

“Well god damn, someone flushed the toilet!” he finally blurted.

I normally kept quiet when Dad got angry, but his outburst was so ridiculous, I couldn’t contain my laughter.

He glared at me, then the ire drained from his face. He started laughing too.

We laughed all the way home.

Dad spitting tobacco

Added 5/2/17